The Unwanted Change

Written by Coach Kim

Edited by Kristine Sultmanis

Change - a six letter word that can change the course of your entire life. Humans have always been scared. Some of us more than others. Unfortunately, in life some changes are unexpected and beyond our control. Changes can take us out of our comfort zone because we are entering into the unknown. Change may be scary. This is probably because most changes are unexpected and beyond our control. But, change can be the first step to a better tomorrow.

If you are like me, you probably think, “ I’m happy where I am, why would I want to change?” It helps us grow and get closer to where we want to be in life. We cannot control our environment or our future. But there are ways we can move closer to what we want to achieve in life.

So what do we have control over?

-You can control your perception. Have you ever noticed how two people can experience the same situation and feel very differently? Our perception to every trauma or unwanted situation is often shaped by the sum of our previous experiences. Our brain associates the feeling of a previous event to the one that is currently occurring. For example, if Marie finds out her friend betrays her trust, she might experience emotions like anger, sadness or even may choose to forgive her friend. But, if Marie was betrayed in the past by other people, it may be more difficult to forgive her friend. When a situation comes up, you may have to isolate the situation in your brain to have a clearer view on it. You can do this by writing down the situation and coming back to it later. That way less emotion will be attached to it.

-You can control how you react. It is ok to take a step back, it is ok to express your feelings, and it is ok to give yourself time to process what happened and heal. You don’t have to be ok with the change, you don’t have to like it or accept it right away. But remember, the things you can’t control, you can’t change. If the change cause you distress, sadness, anxiety, please seek assistance. It can be a health professional, a friend, a family member, or a life coach… anyone you trust and can help you. You have to work through your feelings and emotion so do not isolate yourself.

-You can control the amount of self-care you receive. At the end of the day, the only person you are guaranteed to have with you forever is you! We have a tendency to take care of everyone else and often forget ourselves. Self-care doesn’t mean spending tons of money on make-up or hours at the gym. It means making time to love yourself and nurture your body and mind. Some people will find healing in meditation, exercise, music, body care, self-development etc. Find what make you connect with yourself. A happy mind sees things differently and can see hope for the future. Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it is a basic need.

-You can control the impact you have in this world. News flash: no one is perfect! You will screw up in life, like everyone else. You have to accept your failures and decide how you want to move forward. This starts by knowing your values. What is important for you? One of my personal values is honesty. I work at being my authentic self and being honest with everyone because I am expecting the same in return. Remember you cannot change another person’s behavior. You can only change your own. You will find that when you change your behavior, others will change around you in response. You have to find what is important for you and act according to your personal values and beliefs. Others will start to follow suit.

-You can control what you want to attract for your future through positive visualization. Have you ever heard about the law of attraction? The Law of Attraction is the ability to attract new opportunities into our lives by choosing to focus on what we want. I have found this extremely helpful in my own life. Focusing on what I want shifts my mind into positive mode and I can see the potential in my future. It also helps me stay motivated and provides a sense of direction when I am achieving my goals. You may not be able to control your future, but you might be surprised how far a positive attitude and an open mind can take you. One way you can remember to be positive about the future is to create a vision board with everything you want in your “ideal life”. Thinking positive thoughts and seeing what you want can really make a difference. I know it has in my life.

Next time you face a major change in your life, remind yourself that someone, somewhere may have a bigger plan for you than you had for yourself! Be willing to change and try something new, you won’t regret it! There will be times where you will feel like you are taking one-step forward and two steps back, but remember the step forward is always bigger than the step back. Focus on what you can control and making positive changes in your life. Watch the world become your oyster!

#lifestyle #decisionmaking #changesaregood #havefaithinlife