The emotional outburst that can propel you toward success

Written by Coach Kim

Edited by Marla Reese Martin

I often get ask: how do you pick the subject for your articles? To be honest with you most of my ideas comes from my clients, my friends, or my own experience. This month article is me sharing some of the lessons I have learn through some very personal moments in my life. Being a life coach does not make me immune to life's up and down and just like you, I am learning as I go. But I made my mission to use any curveball life has in store for me to help other people go through their own journey in life. Emotional outburst is when thing happen in your life and you just can no longer control your emotion and need to have a huge self-pity party to feel better and find clarity. When is the last time you let yourself have an emotional outburst?

My 2021 year started with a great job opportunity opening in the organization I work for. This job meant a major life change for me and my kids. This is not the kind of opportunity that comes around one in the lifetime, but it was the kind of opportunity that required courage and guts to say yes to. I could see myself getting the job. I visualized, I prayed, I meditated, I practiced the law of attraction and even started to get ready to take on this opportunity. Needless to say, getting the email informing me that I was not the chosen candidate was devastating, not only for me but also for my daughters. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it, I was the perfect candidate, this job was meant for me. I had the experience, the qualifications, the passion for it plus I put it in the universe. This news broke me and inconsolably I started to reevaluate the past 3 years of my life. At that moment I lost sight of what I have and only saw the lost and missed opportunities of my past. I gave myself 24 hours. Twenty-four hours to cry, scream, being angry and mad at the world. I threw the best pity-party for myself I could ever ask for. At that moment I had my emotional outburst. Sometimes you need the emotional outburst to be able to grow and move on. Unbelievably, emotional outburst is healthy. Even the most positive person in the world will have an emotional outburst at some point. The important is to understand how to manage it and to make sure it stays healthy.

Time bound: A healthy emotional outburst is time limited. When I got the news I cried, people around me tried to comfort me but I just needed the cry. I told everyone to give me 24 hours. Twenty-four hours that I could be irrational and did not have to see the bright side. You may wonder how I picked 24 hours, well, based on my experience after few hours we tend to repeat the same story repeatedly. So, after 24 hours, I knew my winning would sounds redundant even for me. Allowing yourself a determinate amount of time helps not to drag the negativity over a prolonged period which could bring you down a dark path.

Acknowledge and accept all the stages. During your emotional outburst it is important to acknowledge your feelings and let all emotions come out. Do not judge yourself or the way you are feeling. People around you will have the reflex to dismiss your negative thought by pointing out the good in your life because they care about you. It is okay to tell them that you are giving yourself 24 hours to live your emotion and will need they comfort after.

Live it to the fullest. When living your emotional outburst, it is important to not try to control or restraint your emotions. To live it to the fullest, make sure you are in a safe environment. A stay at home in pijama kind of day. You do not want to have this overload of emotion at work or in a place where you would feel guilty after. This is your moment, surround yourself with people you trust and accept you just the way you are: in good and tough times.

Reevaluate the situation with a clear mind. This can start during your emotional outburst or after the time has run out. At this stage the emotion that took over your brain start dismissing and you regain clarity and hope for the future. This a good moment to make a list of what you have and are grateful for. Then start thinking about what makes you unhappy right now that you could change. Remember in life when everything is monochrome, slight changes can add the splash of color you need.

Make a after plan with new goals. My mom always that if you can make plan, you are alive. Goal setting is a fantastic way to move forward. An objective does not have to be complicated; it just needs to be something that motivates to continue when things get rough. When I heard that I was not selected for the position, I planned a trip to go to Europe in 2023. I had put some plans on hold, as I was planning to move for that new work opportunity. Now that I was not going to move, I started to work on the plans I had before. Little did I know I had more exciting things on my plate that I did before.

Celebrate the little wins toward your goals. Each step closer to your goal deserve to be celebrate. Emotional outburst can happen at any time even after a small deception. It is often the accumulated emotions that comes out and we tend to confuse the current event with all the other past events that we have been disappointed about. When we look closer, we can see a lot of wins between the event, but because we have not embraced it, we omit it as not important. Do not be afraid to celebrate and make a big deal of every good news or opportunities that are presented to you.

If there is only one thing, I would like to remember from this article is that: when you have an emotional outburst, let yourself go through the emotion without judging yourself. Do not see it as a weakness but instead as step back to propel your forward. You may think you felt apart; I say you just got stronger! Need help navigating life? Contact me and let's work together to get you where you want to be.

Your coach Kim