On the Path to Happiness

Written by Coach Kim

Edited by Kristine Sultmanis

One of the trickiest questions you can ask someone is: Are you happy? Most people will answer, “yes” without giving it a second thought. However, if you really take time to think about it, the answer may be different. Happiness is not something you get when you have everything you have ever wanted. Happiness is when you feel content with what you have and grateful for the little things in life.

Here are a few things you can do to find your way to happiness:

Practice gratitude daily. Some people have everything they need to be happy, but they look like they are caring the weight of the world on their shoulders. This is because often we take for granted everything we have and concentrate on what we don’t have. One way you can focus on the good in your life, is by practicing gratitude on regular basis. You can keep a gratitude journal or just take a few minutes each day to say thank you. Every morning before I get out of bed, I say out loud, “I thank you life for (insert three things or people I have in my life). This is a simple exercise that you can use to start your day on a positive note.

Be happy now. Stop waiting for tomorrow to be happy. People always say: when I get that ___ I will be happy. For instance, when I retire, I will be happy. No one knows how old we will live, so why put off the chance to be happy? Look at your “bucket list” and start checking items off. This is your time to live your life to the fullest.

Don’t tie your happiness to material things. I believe money and material possession splays a role in someone’s level of happiness. The thing is though, it is not the reason for your happiness. It compliments a state of mind you should already be in. If you were unhappy before getting a new car, the feeling of happiness will only last for a short period of time. Eventually, the feelings of unhappiness will come back, and you will begin looking for the next “thing” that will provide you with temporary joy. If you are unhappy, look for a reason deeper than not having the bigger house on the block.

Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket. Your happiness should never depend on someone else’s ability to be content. As a mom and wife, I used to think that if my family was happy, I was happy. Unfortunately, this is not how happiness works. I now know that if I am happy, they are happy. I cannot control the happiness of others, but knowing that happiness is contagious, I like to believe that I can inspire it.

Fake it until you make it. It has been scientifically proven that faking a smile or a laugh causes your body to release endorphins. This happens because the brain is not able to differentiate between fake smiles or laughs and real ones. Your brain only recognizes the movement of your facial muscles. Do not be shy! Fake a smile or laugh. It will do you some good!

Practice self-love. Another way to maximize your chance at happiness is to love and take care of yourself. You are the only person that can choose to be happy or to be miserable. Take time out for yourself. Take care of your body and mind. You will see start to see life more clearly and you will have more energy to do things that makes you happy.

Fill your time with activities that light you up. You should spend your time doing things that make you happy. People who fill their time with hobbies they enjoy, tend to be happier. I know that I am happy being outdoors, so anytime I have a chance, I go on a hike. Your interests may change with time, so don’t be surprised if an activity doesn’t bring you the same level of joy that it used to. You should be open to try new activities and develop new passions.

Leave the past in the past. Too often we waist time dwelling on the past. We can’t change what happened, but we can learn from it and move on. The day I realized I was happy, was when my kids told me they loved how happy and confident I became. This was few months after my separation. It took a lot of effort to get to that point. Half of the time I looked like a crying mess and the other half I was determined to live my best life with my kids. As the time went by, I found myself smiling without any reason and thinking about how lucky I was. To be happy about your current situation and your future, you need to make peace with what happened in your past. If you find yourself thinking of a negative experience, try to find the positive side to the same experience.

I often compare happiness to a road. There will be bumps, but it doesn’t have to stop you from moving forward. Happiness is not your destination; it is the everyday miles you drive knowing that the scenery will only get better. What makes you happy today?